The Best Part of Me Could Be You
by MoonytheMarauder1
Summary: Remus never thought he'd have a soulmate, but Sirius might just be the one to help him survive. Wolfstar, warnings inside. For my gorgeous QL team


**A/N: Hey y'all! This was written for the QLFC. **

**Word Count: 2976**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. Those rights go to JK Rowling.**

**Captain: Write a fic dedicated to your team, using a prompt from each (3 must feature prominently)**

**The prompts are as follows (the main are the top three):**

**Corey: (season) winter**

**Liza: (pairing) Wolfstar**

**Lizzy: (au) soulmates**

**Lisa: (dialogue) "Why me? Why is it always me who has to pick up after those brats?!"**

**Sketchy: (genre) angst**

**Sammy: (emotion) jealousy**

**Kim: (object) English Oak**

**A quick note: I know Remus is more cynical than I tend to write him here—that's because of the way he's grown up in this AU, raised by Greyback and unable to attend school. Also, this is a soulmate!au.**

**WARNINGS: Some general angst, semi-graphic injury, referenced kidnapping, threats and blackmail**

**Thanks to Angela for beta-ing!**

**And a million thanks to my team! You all have been so great to be around, and I've thoroughly enjoyed my season with you. So much love to you all!**

**Enjoy!**

Remus' fingers were blue as he held them over the fire, shivering. His amber-eyed gaze flitted up to Greyback, who was watching the rest of the pack through narrowed eyes. Remus glanced down again, watching the snow settle around him.

Winter months were always the hardest. Remus closed his eyes as he thought about all the woes sure to come: frostbite, starvation, hypothermia… He'd seen it all before. This was the way it had always been, and it was the way it always would be.

He could still feel Greyback's eyes on him. Knowing he was expected to speak, Remus cleared his throat. "We need to go into town before the full moon. Supplies. Food."

Greyback nodded once. His eyes glinted gold in the setting sun, and he scratched his grey-stubbled jaw with sharp fingernails as he responded. "You'll go tomorrow, then. Make sure you come straight back; I don't want to have to send one of the boys after you."

Remus frowned. He hated the assumption that he was weak, or too precious to take risks. But that was exactly why Greyback had snatched him from his bed twenty years ago, wasn't it? Because he didn't fight back..

"I can take care of myself," he protested half-heartedly.

The others were glaring at him—they had always been jealous of the way Greyback favored him—but Remus had eyes only for Greyback. The older man let out a low laugh. "Perhaps. But I need you here. I couldn't afford your capture."

Right. Because Remus had magic—trivial though it was, presenting itself in random, chaotic bursts. He could never leave. He would never be _allowed_ to leave. This death camp would be the boundaries of his world forever.

And yet, he knew that it was better than what waited for him out there.

Remus dipped his head in acceptance, having learned long ago that further protest would result in punishment. He held his gloveless hands closer to the fire and shivered. His fingers ached from the cold and oncoming transformation, but he was used to such pains, used to the monster within making its presence known.

And, just like the camp, he was used to being unable to escape it.

* * *

Remus was just preparing to leave the next morning when Greyback approached.

He didn't look up as the older man shoved past giggling children, growling when they knocked over someone's pack and bedroll. Remus couldn't hold back a fond smile as he listened to their antics. Greyback set them on their feet with a warning and quickly righted the supplies, then finished his walk to Remus.

"Why me?" he grumbled in greeting. "Why is it always me who has to clean up after those brats?!"

Remus glanced up at the man who'd stolen him from his bed at four years old, who'd raised him in the woods, and who'd always had a certain amount of control over him. He cleared his throat and told Greyback what Remus knew he wanted to hear.

"Because you took them in. You're raising them as… as your own." Remus swallowed. "Just like you did for me."

"That's right." A rough, calloused hand ruffled Remus' hair, and he stiffened under the touch; he was twenty-four. Much too old for this. Yet much too young to have seen all the things he had already. "And you turned out well, didn't you, Remus?"

Remus ducked his head. "Yes." Then he straightened up and slung his pack over his shoulder. "I should be going now. I'll be back in a few hours."

"Do you have the Muggle money?"

Remus did, in fact, have what Greyback had entrusted to him, but if he wanted to be able to afford a way out of this place some day, he'd need more. He wouldn't leave the kids here alone with a monster; he had to support them as well as himself. "I lost it," he mumbled, pretending to be contrite. "I'm sorry."

Greyback's eyes turned to slits. "That stuff doesn't grow on trees, you know."

"I'll be more careful next time."

Greyback watched him for another moment before pressing some notes into Remus' palm. "You'd lose your head if it wasn't attached to your neck." Greyback's words were friendly, but there was a warning in his voice that made Remus' knees shake.

Greyback clapped him on the back, then sauntered off to reel the children of the pack back into line. Remus turned away from the werewolf who'd cursed him, then headed towards the Muggle town that was a few miles away.

Not long after, Remus was walking through the streets. The transactions were easy enough for Remus to handle, but his slight, underfed form had difficulty with carrying the bulk of his purchases. Remus felt on edge among so many people, half-expecting to be attacked then and there, but nothing happened. Still, he visited each food stall quickly, wanting to leave as soon as possible.

He'd just purchased a few loaves of bread when a voice spoke right into his ear.

"Hey, handsome. You come here often?"

Remus jumped violently, his heart flying into his mouth, and he kicked out on instinct. His foot collided with someone's shin, by the sound of the yelp that followed. Then Remus' brain caught up with the situation.

_Not a threat,_ he scolded his pounding heart. _Flirting. Just… Merlin. Just flirting._

"Uh," Remus looked back at the man who'd spoken, who was gingerly turning his ankle as he assessed his injuries. "Uh."

The man looked up, and Remus saw grey eyes before he looked away, face burning.

"No worries, mate. Nothing's broken." The man straightened up and grinned. "Sorry for startling you."

Remus' head snapped towards him. "You didn't," he snapped, having had the idea that weakness was not allowed drilled into him from a young age. "I wasn't afraid—what do you want, anyway?"

The man offered him a one-shouldered shrug. "Wondered if you wanted a drink, was all."

Remus stiffened. "Alcohol is for people who can afford to lose a few brain cells," he said shortly. Better nip this in the bud while he could. He could feel some instinct pulling him toward the man, and Remus knew nothing good could possibly come from that.

The man, though, only cocked his head to the side. "Sharp wit," he noted. "Are you sure I can't entice you? One beer."

Remus raised a brow. "It's not even noon."

"I'll take you out to lunch, then."

Remus grit his teeth together. The man in front of him was attractive, yes, but he'd never even kissed anyone before—bar the time when he and another boy in the pack had been curious.

Greyback had put a stop to that quickly.

Remus cleared his throat and did his best to look disinterested. "Sorry, but I have to be going. Good luck finding someone else to take to lunch."

"Hang on, wait—"

The man reached out to grasp Remus' wrist before he could turn away, and skin touched skin. Remus watched with horror as gold streaks blossomed up his arm, and red swirled up the man's.

Remus wrenched his hand away, his heart pounding. Without another word, he ran off into the crowd towards the woods while the man—Remus' _soulmate_—was still frozen in shock. He walked until he was sure he'd lost the other man, shaking violently, then collapsed by a tree. He scooped up some half-melted snow and began scrubbing at the gold markings.

They wouldn't come off. "Merlin," he muttered despairingly. "Merlin."

Soulmate. He had a soulmate. Remus knew that the ancient bond was visible between two wizards upon skin-on-skin contact, hence the golden swirls traveling up his arm.

He'd never thought he'd have one. He'd always thought it was impossible for someone like him. But apparently it wasn't.

Something warm spread through him; there was someone out there who was supposed to love him unconditionally, in spite of all his flaws—including his lycanthropy. But that feeling (could it be happiness?) was quickly drowned out by terror. If Greyback knew, he'd be able to hold the man over Remus' head. A threat that would never die.

Greyback couldn't know.

Remus tugged down his coat sleeve, hoping with all his might that it would be enough to hide the discovery from Greyback.

Remus lifted his face to the sky. The moon would be rising in a few short hours—the full moon. He needed to get back to camp.

He covered the evidence that he was capable of love as best he could, then, shivering against the biting wind, began the long trek back to his tormentors.

* * *

Pain.

A dark sky.

Screaming.

Howling.

And then—nothing.

But the moon. There was always the moon.

* * *

All Remus felt when he woke was cold. He opened his eyes to see a grey sky, white flakes falling down around him. He was alone in the snow, naked and bleeding. He tried to move his hands, maybe push himself up, but he couldn't find the strength. His nails were tinged blue, he noticed. His limbs were stiff, and the snow was red in some places. Remus turned his gaze away.

After a moment, Remus closed his eyes again. His breathing was shallow, and exhaustion threatened to overcome him. He had to get up, he knew. If he stayed here, he'd die.

But he couldn't.

So he didn't.

Before he slipped into unconsciousness once more, he thought he felt warm hands on his arm.

* * *

Remus groaned softly as he came to. His amber eyes fluttered open, narrowing against bright light. He squinted, waiting for his vision to clear so he could take in his surroundings.

"About time you woke up. I was getting worried."

Remus flailed, struggling to twist around to face whoever had spoken, but he was too sluggish, too disoriented—

"Hey—hey!" Hands grabbed Remus' wrists, forcing him back into a lying position. Grey eyes swam into view, pinning Remus in place. He knew those eyes. "Merlin, you really are stubborn, aren't you? I'm here to help you, not hurt you. Relax."

Remus stared up at his soulmate, hating that he was so weak right now, hating that this stranger had the upper hand. "Who are you?" he croaked. His throat was raw, from his night of howling, no doubt.

The man sat at Remus' bedside, and the werewolf realized belatedly that he was sitting atop an actual mattress. "You know who I am," his soulmate said softly. Remus watched his dark hair fall over his shoulders. "You felt it."

Remus jutted his chin out stubbornly. "I don't know what you mean."

The man simply pointed to Remus' arm, where, between the bandages, streaks of gold were visible. "I'm Sirius," the man offered. "Sirius Black."

Remus frowned. "Why am I here?"

Sirius pursed his lips. "You were on the side of the road," he said in a strained voice. "You… didn't look good."

Remus felt his face flush, very much aware of the state he must have been in when Sirius found him. He thought of each ugly scar that marred his face and felt very small next to Sirius, whose good looks were inarguable.

Remus picked at his shirt, which wasn't his own. He refused to consider that it might be Sirius'. "I would have been fine."

Sirius rolled his eyes and touched Remus' shoulder. "I recognized the symptoms," he said quietly. "I'm an Auror, you know—I can tell a werewolf when I see one."

Remus' blood froze. So this was Sirius' motive—blackmailing a werewolf to do his bidding—

"You've nothing to fear from me."

Remus grit his teeth. "You've incorrectly made the assumption that I fear you."

Sirius crossed his arms and sat back. "You know, you're making it really hard to help you."

"I don't desire your help."

"Well, that's unfortunate for you, isn't it? Because you're confined to that bed until I deem you healthy enough to move." He leaned over until his nose was inches from Remus'. "Yeah. I'm just as stubborn as you are."

Remus grit his teeth. Sirius had to be a wizard if they both bore soulmarks, so he knew that Sirius' magic would be able to keep him there for as long as necessary. Remus' raw, untrained power was no match against an experienced hand.

Remus let his head fall back against the pillows. "What do you want from me?" he asked at last.

Sirius' fingers hovered over Remus' hair for a moment, as though in preparation to push Remus' bangs aside, but he let the slender digits fall back to his side. "I want to know your name."

Remus looked at him sharply. "I…"

Sirius held up his hands in a defensive gesture. "I promise you, I only want to know the name of my soulmate."

"I'm… Remus." He didn't offer a surname, and Sirius didn't press him.

"Remus." A dazzling smile lit the man's features, and Remus felt a bit dizzy. "I like it. You'd best get some sleep, now; I have Dreamless Sleep if you want it."

"Dreamless Sleep?"

"The potion." Sirius frowned slightly. "You are a wizard, aren't you?"

Remus bit back a yawn with difficulty. "I didn't go to _school_."

Sirius snorted slightly. "Right, but didn't your parents teach you? Or are you Muggleborn?"

Remus turned his head to the side. "Whatever that Dreamless Sleep is, I want it."

Sirius' grey eyes widened; this was the opposite of how Remus had wanted this to go. His secrets were spilling, he was at his weakest point with someone who might turn out to be his enemy—it was an utter catastrophe.

"You live with other werewolves."

Remus let himself relish the pillow and mattress while they lasted. "Yes."

"Do you want to go back?"

The thing was, Remus tried to lie. He really, really did. But such a large part of him wanted to tell the truth, and Sirius had brought him here _knowing_ he was a werewolf. So he parted with one more small secret.

"No."

"Then you won't," Sirius said firmly. He withdrew a long wooden stick—his wand—and summoned a blanket to drape over Remus' trembling form. "Stay here." He smirked slightly. "We're soulmates, after all."

That was the last thing Remus heard before he lost the battle of consciousness.

* * *

Remus took another sip of the hot chocolate, still amazed by the sweet flavor. He'd never tasted anything like it before, and he wasn't sure he'd be able to live without it anymore. Yet another reason to stay with Sirius.

Who, two days after the full moon, still hadn't decided that Remus should leave the bed yet. And Remus… let him fuss. It was strange to have someone to care about his health, but Remus had deduced that Sirius would do a lot for even a chance at love.

None of the pictures on the walls depicted a family. Remus had drawn his own conclusions.

Remus was… strangely more open around Sirius. He blamed the soulmate connection. He was lured into a sense of safety around this man, something he hadn't truly felt in a very long time. He was taking advantage of it while he could.

Of course, it didn't hurt that his soulmate seemed just as happy around Remus as Remus was around him.

Currently, Sirius was trying to convince him to stay. Forever.

But Greyback still loomed in Remus' mind.

"I can't stay," he said regretfully. "It would be too dangerous for both of us."

"Because you're a werewolf?" Sirius demanded. "We can figure something out. There are spells—"

Remus laughed bitterly. "You've never tried to contain a werewolf before. Believe me, it isn't that easy. I'm only truly safe with… with the pack."

Sirius crossed his arms. "Which you don't want to go back to."

Remus leaned back against the pillows and closed his eyes. "I don't have much choice."

"You _want_ to leave!"

"But I can't," Remus said curtly. "I can't leave until I know that the kids there are—" Remus broke off suddenly, realizing what he'd revealed, and turned his head away. His face flushed. "It doesn't matter."

Sirius exhaled slowly. "Until the kids there are safe?"

Remus' silence was a resounding yes.

Sirius swallowed. "Living with the man who bit you… do you…"

Remus glanced over. "Do I regret it? Yes. Would I do it again?" Remus let out a shuddering breath. "Probably."

Sirius pulled over a chair made of English oak and sat heavily down on it, staring at Remus intensely. "I don't think you're nearly as much of a monster as you think. You've got this—this big heart. I haven't seen one like it before."

Rems blinked, unused to praise. Not a monster. _Not a monster_. What if Sirius was wrong? What if he was _right?_ "How could you possibly know that?" he whispered.

Sirius reached out boldly, placing a hand over Remus' heart. "I can feel it. Through our connection."

Remus' breathing was labored. "How do you know it's real? That it works?"

Sirius didn't shy away from Remus' gaze. "Two possibilities exist: either we're alone in the universe, or we are not. Both are equally terrifying." Sirius ran a hand through his black hair. "But I think I'd rather not be alone."

And then Remus felt it. His heart sped up. His face flushed. Warmth spread throughout his body. There was an opportunity here, and he didn't want to pass it up.

Maybe it was time to stop being afraid of making connections. Maybe it was time to survive for someone other than himself.

He hesitantly laced his scarred fingers through Sirius' unblemished ones, and Sirius smiled. Remus returned it.

He couldn't leave the pack, not yet. There were people he couldn't leave behind. But he could hold on to Sirius, and perhaps pursue the happiness that had evaded him for so long.

Outside, the snow began to melt.

**A/N:**

**WC: Assorted Appreciation: 4. "You know who I am. You felt it."**

**WC: Disney Challenge: S1. Write about someone attracting another person's attention somehow**

**WC: Trope of the Month: 12. (emotion) fear**

**WC: Space: 1. "Two possibilities exist: either we are alone in the universe, or we are not. Both are equally terrifying." - Arthur C. Clarke**

**WC: Book Club: Cheryl — (word) innocent, (action) glaring, (emotion) fear**

**WC: Showtime: 10. (word) desire**

**WC: Amber's Attic: 9. Alt. "You would lose your head if it wasn't attached to your neck." (BONUS)**

**WC: Sophie's Shelf: 10. (era) Marauder**

**WC: Press Play: 13. (sexuality) gay**

**WC: Liza's Loves: 6. LD: Write about someone helping someone in need**

**WC: Angel's Archive: 14. Write about the awkward tension between two characters**

**WC: Scamander's Case: 27. (emotion) fear**

**WC: Bex's Basement: 3. "Alcohol is for people who can afford to lose a few brain cells." (BONUS)**

**WC: Film Festival: 12. (word) motive**

**WC: Marvel Appreciation: 6. (word) monster**

**WC: Lyric Alley: 11. Slow down right now**

**Funfair: Haunted House: 15. (season) winter, **

**Monster Mash: 1: 11. (word) ugly**

**Horror Movie: C10. Write about something not being what you expect**

**Galleon: 9. (restriction) only male characters**

**Zodiac: Libra likes: outdoors**

**Fortnightly: Trick or Treat?: HP character**

**Fortnightly: Masque: F3. (word) catastrophe **

**Stickers: Halloween 1: Spider: Write about facing your fears**

**Pumpkin Toss: Extra Large: (character) Fenrir Greyback**

**Seasonal: Days of the Year: 3 October — slash pairing**

**Seasonal: Autumn: 6. (word) fall**

**Seasonal: Colors: 2. Gold**

**Seasonal: Birthstones: 9. "Do I regret it? Yes. Would I do it again? Probably."**

**Seasonal: Flowers: 10. (theme) the will to survive**

**Seasonal: Tarot Cards: 6. Write about someone getting some rest**

**Seasonal: Air: Gemini — RemusSirius**

**Seasonal: Bake a Cake: 3: slash**

**Seasonal: T3: intelligent**

**Seasonal: Astrology: 5. Opposite**

**Seasonal: Religious: 13 October: full moon**

**Seasonal: History: 9. Write about someone recovering/being healed**

**365: 13. Flavor**

**Insane: 153. (theme) winter**


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